A Tale of Two Wars
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I plagiarized that one from a great novel; but it's a superb opening to illustrate the difference between the war that we fight as ETTs and the war the Combined Joint Task Force- Phoenix (CJTF-P) fights. CJTF-P is the headquarters for the ETTs here in Afghanistan. I could understand a marked difference between conventional coalition forces and ETTs; but there's such a huge dichotomy from us and our headquarters.
The difference came to light recently when we received some replacements through Camp Phoenix.. We were briefing them on our day to day activities and they were telling us about what they were told at Phoenix. What they were told was shocking and if you followed their guidance it would ensure that you were universally disliked by the ANA and would accomplish nothing here.
First, was Chai. They were told not to ever drink Chai with the ANA due to contaminated water and the possibility that you'd be poisoned. This is an idiotic statement. Chai is the social glue that holds things together here. When you meet someone you have Chai, if you disagree with someone you have Chai, you do anything here you have Chai.
A blogger once taught me a great technique that I use all of the time, if things get heated ask for Chai. Thanks Old Blue! Let me tell you it works. The disagreement stops immediately and they start making Chai; you can then pick up the conversation once Chai is made and almost universally you can come to an agreement.
I drink Chai at least once a day and many days, several times. I have not taken gravely ill or had my DNA mutated by Chai. I'm not concerned about getting sick as the tea is served so hot that I could sterilize surgical instruments in it. A good indication on how well your doing with the ANA is if they remember how you like your Chai, I don't like sugar in it and they now know and make sure that 's how they serve it. I bond with my guys over Chai.
The next stellar briefing point from the brain trust in Kabul was don't eat with the Afghans. Afghans are very hospitable people, they always asking you over for lunch, dinner, whatever. We go over and eat with them all the time. I've never gotten sick or begun bleeding from my eyes after eating with them. Again this is a bonding experience and what does it say about you if you're scared to eat their food. Hey, I'll run into battle with you; but no way I'm eating your chow? Obviously, no one in Phoenix has ever been out and operated with the ANA.
Terps are another area where we don't see eye to eye. Standard party line is terps are not armed. I won't say what we do here. But I trust my terps with my life. They're great Afghans and most of them are trying very hard to be great Americans. A good terp is better than all the fire support in the world. I can't say enough about how important your terps are. CJTF-P seems to want us to treat them as some type of lower caste from us and that just don't hunt here.
Terps aren't supposed to get US Army cold weather gear, I guess they think there must be some special Afghan Terp force field that keeps them warm. These guys are my soldiers and I'm not letting them freeze because some guy who hasn't heard a round fired in anger doesn't think they deserve our gear. They can kiss my fourth point of contact, you paratroopers know what I'm saying.
I've posted before about the spas, coffee shops, PXes and other plethora of things that exist at Camp Phoenix, KIA and BAF. There is no war there and they seem to think it's the same down here. I want more ammo and they're worried about the 7 different kinds of ice cream at lunch and dinner. The institutional attitude there is that Afghans are nasty people to be avoided at all cost unless they're cleaning up the Camp
God forbid that the war interferes with Salsa Dancing Night, yes they have that at Bagram. Salsa night here is when we get UGR-A mexican food rations. Let me tell you it's FUN! We're easily amused here!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not belittling what others are doing here, I'm just asking that they look at it from my perspective once and awhile. I know not everyone signed up to be a direct fight guy and that's OK. There used to be a saying here,"What have you done for your ETTs today"; it's now morphed into "What have you done to your ETTs today". I have the original statement on my emails as a joke now.
There are two wars here, make no mistake. Chai, eating and Terps are just points of illustration and they're just the tip of the iceberg. What they think and how things actually get done are so far apart it borders on absurd. Actually, I take that back it is absurd.
As an ETT we have to build trust and have trust in our counterparts. They, Camp Phoenix, just doesn't understand this.
I'll even goes as far as to issue an open invitation to anyone at Phoenix that wants to fly down here and live with us for just a week. They can come and we'll show them what it's like to really operate as an ETT, a trusted mentor to your ANA. I do think of them as my ANA, my soldiers, my brothers.
Skip the ice cream and come visit. It ain't the Hilton but I'll assure you that you do and see things that will stay with you forever. You may even make some friends. I can tell you for sure that you'll drink some Chai and eat some pretty darn good food.
Come on down we'll be waiting!
I can tell you that the attitude from Phoenix has not changed from when I was there (Phoenix III). I can tell you that we had one tacsat per team, crew cab ford rangers (they were great), iridium phones and that was it. We did use op funds to buy thuraya phones, but I will deny it to my dying day. Point being, those hesco monkeys at Phoenix were only concerned with getting a Dairy Queen and a Green Bean coffee shop and had idea what the ETT mission was nor did they care to support it. We typically used iridiums to call for air support, because only one team could use the tacsat. We couldn't even get batteries from them (thank God for Op funds). I am coming back there in June and will be interested to see the changes. I have had many friends go back as ETTs and from what they have told me, the facilities are gradually improving, but the support from Phoenix has not. My team started with 15, got split about halfway through the rotation, then my seven man team was split again and augmented with some new guys. The number of teams increased, but the equipment didn't. We got down to using cell phones. It was a mess. Anyway, keep up the good fight. Don't let those fobbits at Phoenix get you down. I never learned to like chai, but drank it anyway. I did love the afghan food and ate it every time I could and never once had any ill effects. I absolutely loved the watermelons and those other ones (like a mix between a cantaloupe and a honey dew) and would not go out without at least 2-3 and bought more at every bazaar that sold them. You will miss it when you are gone, so enjoy it while you can. Sorry about the long post, just wanted to let you know there are many of us out here who know exactly what you are talking about. If you need anything let me know. I know the mail sucks, I had a package arrive in Baghram in December and I got it in April. Some things never change. There are alot of good people who will send you pogey bait, but if you can think of anything else you might need, just let me know. Maybe I will see you when I get back over there. Supposed to be assigned to "thunder" but really won't know until we get there. Take care and stay low.
Chris Murphy
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I've followed Old Blue and Bouhammer throught their tours as embedded trainers with the ANP and ANA. Blue turned me on to your site and I thank you for writing about your experiences.
There are other Soldier's blogs that I've followed from Afghanistan as well and it saddens me to read that the situation at Phoenix has gone from bad to worse. And from what you've just written, apparently MUCH worse.
I had hoped that once Petraeus was in charge of both Iraq and Afghanistan that heads would roll at Phoenix.
Blue has written about the conflict in the upper echelon of Big Army regarding the resistance to COIN. Good lord! Chai is the very essence of COIN!! That the deadwood at Phoenix don't understand this means that they have no place in the solution to a succesfull outcome in Afghanistan!
To men like you, it's a no brainer. Thanks for serving. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for telling it like it is.
Stay as safe as you can.
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Sir,
during my rotation to TFP in 06-07 I took to calling CP Phoenix the "Imperial Palace" because of all the court intrigue that was going on up there. At the RCAG level we once went 45 days without mail, and we had access to an all weather landing strip.
After a year in country and a year of following events there I have come to the following conclusion:
It is not the people at Camp Phoenix that are the problem. The problem is Camp Phoenix.
You can not support Company and Battalion ETT's (where the mission is really happening) when you are completely divorced from what they are doing. At least an Infantry Brigade commander has done his time at the Platoon and Company levels. Sadly TF Phoenix has become all about CP Phoenix. A place where picking the next MWR event/facility is more important than making sure that the guys down range have ammunition, food, and enough warm bodies to accomplish the mission.
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I had posted a comment earlier but there is a problem with comment verification. I got the automatic email, at least part of it, but with no place to confirm.
What I wrote earlier, in brief, is that I have followed the ETT postings of Bouhammer and Old Blue and found them to be extremely valuable in asessing the situation on the ground.
Thanks for serving. Thanks for writing about it so frankly.
If the people at Phoenix don't understand Chai then they don't undertsand COIN. If they don't undertsand COIN they need to be replaced. Otherwise Afghanistan is lost.
Stay as safe as you can and thanks again.
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Vamp 06, You will getting some traction from me on this one. I am sick to think that 18 months after leaving there and with my own BDE in charge of TF PHX that this crap is being spewed out of the land of Green Bean coffee and College classes. Sorry man, that people are not heeding the real life lessons taught to them. Hey, at least you aren't being told to never get out of your trucks and that you have no reason to walk around on the ground with the ANA. Yes, and old 203 corps CDR once put out that directive. But then again he called us "non-combatant combatants" which I still don't know what that means.
Bouhammer
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The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 12/04/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.
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AMEN! gimme stomach parasites and skin diseases from hanging out with the afghans all day long.... cuz it helps promote victory there!!!! if an ETT isnt dirty, he aint doing his job. as for phoenix, those jokers are to be ignored as much as possible! keep up the good work!
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sooooooooo glad some one is puting the truth out in public,please continue to write,we as americans and as people of the world need to know what the boots on ground are seeing,and doing,if we depend on the tv,,we only get what they are told to report,as a veteran of the army i'd like to know how much progress our troops are making,we all want the troops home,we want them home with honor,and that won't be done if they are pulled out before the job is complete,tell the troops we miss them,want them home,to be safe,and to know they are appreciated,we as americans want them [iraq] to know the peace we have here in america,to have freedom of choice,thank you for writing
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Hi Vampire 06, sorry to hear that decisions made in the rear are having such negative implications out for you in the field. I'm a Navy guy, so I didn't know about the "fobbit" thing until I became one last year in Iraq. I was an analyst working with some civilians, so I wasn't involved in the operational chain of command, but I find it disturbing that decisions ar ebeing made which negatively affect how you guys conduct business. Hopefully, you'll get the new guys straightened out, and that this issue gets addressed. I enjoy your blog, and it's becoming as good as Troy's. Keep up the great work!
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Freakin' Hooooooah, Sir! Sing it!
I can't believe that Phx is now telling you not to drink the chai or eat the food. Just when I thought that things couldn't get more ridiculous, they have gone and proven me wrong.
When they briefed us in at Phx, they told us to drink the chai and eat the food and that we would get sick at some point, but that was just part of the job. Now those sissy boys are telling people to piss off the Afghans, like that will keep them safer!
Sheesh.
Straighten 'em out, Vampire 6.
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Old Blue is a very wise man. Smart of you to listen to him.
He's been on my blog roll for ages.
I've added your blog, on his recommendation. Glad I did.
Hope your mail issues are being resolved.
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Good show, Vampire 06! I think it's a shame that we continue to (mostly) use the finest shock army the world has ever known in entirely the wrong manner. To draw a parallel, consider the USAF's historic disdain for the A-10 Warthog.
Maybe it's simply a cultural thing; maybe one branch cannot simultaneously concern itself with close air support, air superiority and strategic bombing missions. Maybe that's just too much cognitive dissonance.
Perhaps, similarly, one branch cannot prepare simultaneously for the Fulda Gap and COIN operations. Maybe the overall institutional mindsets are simply too different.
Keep fighting the good fight; my belief is that you're doing more for the effort than all the ice cream in all the PXs in Afghanistan.
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Been in Kabul for 6 1/2 years, living in town, driving my Corolla, drinking an ocean of Chai. Daily. You talk about Phoenix? Try Eggers. I'm lucky, I can just shake my head and walk back out the gate. The world they live in? Not sure, but it ain't Afghanistan.
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ETT Vampire,
I just want to say Thanks. You prove that in the middle of some serious shit, it's how you treat people that counts.
+ pass the Chai.
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wow! fascinating and hilarious!
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I think more posts like this one would serve our purposes well. A good look at life on the ground.
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Totally agree. I'm in ARSIC S and I'm not ETT or PMT, however, I fully agree with you. I trust my terps just as much as I trust my buddy. If it weren't for them, we'd have one hell of a time working with ANA or ANP which we have done dozens of times. Especially when we go into Helmand, he's just as much at risk as we are, if not more. Give them a weapon and a chance to defend themselves. I know for a fact my terp has one hell of a shot! Well, that's my two cents. If I offend anyone, oh well!
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Thank you for the honesty and for your service. Some wouldn't have the guts to expose this mess so God Bless you. It makes me sicker than any Chai ever could. Keep up the good work.
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my husband is at phoenix now, and i know he and his soldiers have been drinking chai and eating afghan food with the afghans, especially when they go on humanitarian aid missions to an orphanage and meet with local contractors to get repairs made to the orphanage. not all people or units at Phoenix are insensitive to the culture of the people of Afghanistan. now, i realize that i am not there and experiencing any of this, (I was shocked to hear how well they were eating) i am not disagreeing with anyone about the mission or difficulty in getting good things accomplished because of army bureaucracy, but i do know my husband and his fellow soldiers drink chai and eat local food--i have seen many pictures of many occasions.
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ArmyWife,
The problem isn't with the line units at CMP PHX....SECFOR, the PMTs and ETTs that are based out of CMP PHX know what has to be done, but usually they do it without the formal approval of their immediate commander.
Its the command at CMP PHX that is jacked up. The mid-level leadership that is unwilling to take the risks necessary to complete this mission. Their lack of understanding and FOBBITT mentality is detrimental to ETTs/PMTs completing their mission downrange. If command isn't educated, then they can not make the informed decisions necessary to help those out on the front line.
I never once saw or heard of the current TF PHX Command group come down to Bermel in the 9 months they ran the task force even though Bermel was producing twice as many serious incident reports due to enemy contact than the majority of other TF PHX elements in the East. Lack of situational awareness is a dangerous thing in Afghanistan.
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i wasn't taking offense to the statements that were being made, and i don't know much about daily operations and all because i don't bug my husband -- he's there to do a job. i just wanted to put it out there that not everyone at phoenix was afraid to eat and drink with the people of Afghanistan.
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I was an ETT in 06-07 and I see that nothing has changed. The Command at TF PHX and the Corps commands do very little to support the troops in the field. You were dead on about the Terps they are the best, I still talk by email with mine. If you could make a movie about life as an ETT it would be the funniest and most tragic movie ever.
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