Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

The white flash splits the Afghan night and I see the world in reverse color for several moments.  Then the concussion hits me and I feel it through chest into my heart and lungs.  KARUMPH! 

Our little cabal is huddled in the lee of a high ridge doing our best to avoid an enactment of Kipling’s on Afghanistan’s plains.  An airstrike just crushed the ridgeline beyond the one currently giving us shelter.  Our ridge rises above us and perched on top like Masada is a Combat Outpost (COP) occupied by US soldiers.

Three of us are kneeling around a map our ACHs touching; actually putting our heads together to stave off the enemy.  Pools of red, green and blue light spill from our headlamps lighting the map in a mosaic of color.  Two armored vehicles are parked to our front, their doors standing open and red light oozing from them.  The radios they contain barking and hissing information.

Double, double, toil and trouble.  The three of us plot our next move, sorcerers of deaths construction.  A mist coats everything; hopefully something else is coating the ground to our east.  Circling overhead like sharks waiting for their next meal are the aircraft. 

The COP reports to us that they’re seeing movement farther along the ridge to the south.  The next iteration begins.   But much to our dismay the squad leader in the sky has intervened.

Now we’re forced to relay through several bases back to the aircraft circling over our heads because of guidance from higher.  Whoever decided this was a good idea can probably barely recognize their own name two out of three times.  The situation now stands that we have enemy, immediately to our east firing rockets at us and the headquarters miles to our north has now decided they can control the fight better than us.  At this moment I’m unsure who is trying harder to kill me.  This isn’t the first time it’s happened.

Suddenly another KARUMPH!  The headquarters isn’t even bothering to notify us now when the aircraft release ordnance.    This is F#$%ing unbelievable!  To shed a little light on what’s occurring imagine this scenario.

You’re trying to guide your buddy to park the car in a specific spot in the parking lot.  You can see him and the lot and he sees you and the lot.  Now, instead of you just telling him where to park you have to get on the phone call someone thirty miles away and tell them, who then relays to your buddy.  By the way all the guy thirty miles away can see is through a camera phone mounted on the hood of the car.  Hell, I can barely make sense of what I just wrote much less guide 500 lbs bombs on target in this manner. 

I can envision how this went down.

“Sir, what do you think of controlling the close air support for all troops in contact”, Major Crackdemon  ask

General Ego a highly egotistical guy who always preaches about empowering his subordinates says “Um, I think that sounds fine, but why”?

“Well Sir, if we don’t what’re  we going to write on our awards forms and OERs” MAJ Crackdemon replies

“That’s a superb point MAJ CrackDemon, I hadn’t thought of that” GEN Ego exclaims

Now, SFC Commonsense interjects “But Sir, does that make sense that we should control a fight miles away “?

“Hell yes it does, the Army obviously wanted ME to be the best Company Commander in Afghanistan, in fact with these new cameras I can probably even be a squad leader”  GEN Ego shouts .

SFC Commonsense doesn’t give up easily, “Sir , then what are all those officers and NCOs down there going to be doing”?

“Well, somebody has to go out there and get shot at so I can bring the aircraft in”.  GEN Ego wanders off to admire himself in the mirror and thank God that they gave him all this great technology.  Hell a year from now he might not even need soldiers.

I’m jerked from my reverie by the smash of artillery and more airstrikes, none of which has been coordinated through us on the ground.  It’s on autopilot now. We’re bystanders gawking at the lightshow that was our previously self orchestrated defense.   We’ll sit here the rest of night slowly getting wet in the mist, wondering if the enemy is coming and we don’t know

Something is rotten in the State of Denmark!

 

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Comments

  • 4/14/2009 7:03 PM Mary R Villano - JERSEY ANGEL wrote:
    This reminds me of the general, who died in the sack with Hot Lips. Heaven forbid he died like that! So, they put him in a jeep and took him up to the front lines, where all the action was, so he and the jeep could be blown up by the enemy. It had to be said that he went down in a blaze of glory.

    You did a good job getting your point across. You and I both know it doesn't make any sense how things went down. The part I and you are thankful for is that you are hear to relay the events to me. Let's hope it doesn't happen again. Take care and God Bless.
    Reply to this
  • 4/14/2009 7:57 PM Rab wrote:
    Unreal. Glad you guys made it through. What a typical crock of bs. These people forget their own freaking mottos, situational awareness and soldiers first my foot.
    Reply to this
  • 4/14/2009 8:48 PM OldSoldier54 wrote:
    Shades of LBJ in Vietnam.

    May God Damn the souls of Ego and Crackdemon, and all those like them, to Hell everlasting. It's idiots like them that good men killed and why I got out at the end of my second enlistment.
    Reply to this
  • 4/14/2009 9:24 PM Hank wrote:
    Damn, double damn as history repeats itself. Vampire 06, you and your men are in our prayers. Keep the powder dry. Semper Fi, Hank
    Reply to this
  • 4/14/2009 11:42 PM Paul Andreasen wrote:
    You need to frag Major Crackdown (with a flashbang, of course, anything else would be politically incorrect!) and get a good ROMAD (they all are!) out there controlling yer overhead!! Not only will he notify you, you can read it all on the dozen damned forms HE has to fill out before calling it in!! Combat Controllers might even be better! THEY can call in ordinance WITHOUT any forms! (plus they can track all those flying thingamubobs)
    Keep ya heads down (ass down too is good), ya hearts up, and remember to keep those mags in! Yer OUTSIDE the FOB from the sound of it! With you in spirit and prayer! Just keep YOUR guys safe, Allah will sort out the others! ("they" are in for a wicked disappointment, THE "song" says heaven's streets are guarded by United States Marines!! There positively WILL NOT be 2, let alone 72, virgins left!)

    Paul Andreasen, TSgt, USAF (Ret)
    ROMAD 601 DASS (601 ASOC)
    CCT 1278th APS
    (There's no such thing as an Ex-ROMAD)
    Reply to this
  • 4/14/2009 11:48 PM Jean wrote:
    shit.shit.shit.
    Reply to this
  • 4/14/2009 11:54 PM David M wrote:
    The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 04/14/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.
    Reply to this
  • 4/15/2009 3:29 AM Ellie wrote:
    This story made me sick to my stomach.
    Reply to this
  • 4/15/2009 3:42 AM Old NFO wrote:
    That's why it's called General's video- You the grunt on the ground within "arms reach" obviously are NOT qualified to call in strikes... Idjits... Gen Ego is a PERFECT Analogy!
    Reply to this
  • 4/15/2009 4:09 AM Soda wrote:
    When are we going to see "AND NOW I HAVE A 60!!!""
    Reply to this
  • 4/15/2009 7:47 AM vengeance7 wrote:
    Nice work 6, ofcourse you are needed on the ground, you and I both know that. If one of those bombs nicks a fin, flys off by 10 degrees and kills one of these 2,000$ goats that are so abundant over here, some one needs to be blamed. That is when Gen P.I Asz hangs up the phone and you get left holding the bag.

    Give all my love to Benji, my own lil' Papillon.
    Vengeance7 out
    Reply to this
  • 4/15/2009 5:22 PM Stosh wrote:
    I'm just a hack redneck sitting comfortably in Tennessee, but wanted to comment that I love your dispatches and appreciate what you're doing and documenting. Thanks Vampire 06.
    Reply to this
  • 4/16/2009 1:41 AM membrain wrote:
    This is just disgusting. Thanks for bringing us the bad news. Keep safe.
    Reply to this
  • 4/16/2009 5:18 AM SSG B. wrote:
    All I can say is I am glad you made it through. I know all too well about fighting for CAS assets, (I used to work at the CAOC). If Gen "Whats his nuts" wants to control these then someone needs to help him pull his head out of his 4th point. I would be more than willing to help. I may be a small fish but I know some whales in the community. Look for Hawgs to be under your control in the near future.
    Reply to this
  • 4/17/2009 3:07 AM greenmountainboy wrote:
    damn i have never heard of support being dropped without alerting the ground or by request... someone, somewhere is a fucking retard, at least they didn't drop it on you thank god.
    Reply to this
  • 4/17/2009 7:03 PM OldSoldier54 wrote:
    "...that good men killed..."

    Sorry, that would be " that get good men killed".

    I was pretty ticked off, as you can tell. Probably shouldn't have cursed their souls to Hell either, but ... alas
    Reply to this
  • 4/18/2009 11:10 AM Mary Kay Zaineb wrote:
    God!!! Take care, Vamp 6 - waitng for your next post. Navy Mom/Mary Kay aptos, ca.
    Reply to this
  • 4/18/2009 12:39 PM WOTN wrote:
    The more things change, the more they stay the same.

    Why lead from the front when you can command from the video screen? Remind General Ego, that if he can't smell the cordite, he's not the battlefield commander. Remind General Ego, if he wishes to be the battlefield commander, there is a 30lb vest, 30lbs of ammunition and ruck hidden under his bed. Tell him to bring an M4 & M9 as well as plenty of ammo.

    Tell him, he can always give me a call. Tell him: I said stay in his freakin' lane, if he wants ME to stay in mine.
    Reply to this
    1. 4/24/2009 6:46 PM mike wrote:
      God bless you and all our troops. Stay safe.I just recieved my vampire shirt, it took a couple weeks to arrive, but is worth the wait. I'm considering a police job with Dyncorp next year, when i retire from chicgo pd. Any opinions about Dyncorp?
      Reply to this
  • 4/20/2009 8:37 PM L. Steven Beene wrote:
    We had a somewhat similar problem while I was last in Iraq.

    We did convoy support operations from Anaconda (Baghdad area) - from (the North) Speicher all the way down to (the south) Ceder II.

    So, one time our BN CDR wants to ride with us. That's fine with us, and we welcome him to join us - hey, one more gun truck is always of use.

    Well, during our trip we encounter a sweep team (motorized). We're not allowed to pass them, so the C2 (Convoy Commander) tells me to check it out, offer our assistance (in the hope we can get out of there more quickly), and such. The BC tries to join them in his vehicle "to help". He doesn't know their freqs, their TTPs, and is just plain butting his nose in their operation.

    Later, on the same convoy, we came upon an accident where some idiot almost went off an overpass. His Humvee is perched precariously near the edge, primed to roll off. We had a wrecker and offered to help. The BC had the "good idea fairy" perched on him and offered 3 of our gun trucks to escort this guy to the nearest base. We roll with 7 trucks - he offered half of our firepower instead of .. I don't know .. ASKING the C2 what HE wanted to do.

    Still later, we had one of our TCN (Third Country Nationals) truckers go through some "S" turns at a IP checkpoint. He was drinking, ran up on TOP of a jersey barrier, and launched his cab of his 18 wheeler so it landed on TOP of a freaking Hesco barrier. I was not sure that was even possible.

    We call for a second wrecker, and they tell us "it'll be 45 min to 1 1/2 hours" - (yea, suuuuure it will).

    Our wrecker crew pulls a miracle out of their fourth point of contact, and we get rolling 3 hours later (no second wrecker showed up).

    On our way back, we see the wrecker convoy (it's about 3 1/2 to 4 hours later). We try to radio them, we radio land-owner, sherrif, and use Blue Force to call our home base to relay a message. To no avail. We collectively shrug our shoulders and figure they'll figure it out (and weren't feeling too bad - they left us for 4 hours, and never called us on BFT or Singars - let them wait a bit).

    The BC mumbles something about "breaking contact" on the radio and suddenly his lone Humvee goes across the median and pulls a U-turn. All by his lonesome to catch the wrecker convoy. We had to stop, deploy 2 trucks to chase his dumb ass, and halt our convoy (making us a stationary target) while he went with his "good idea". 30 minutes later all 3 of our trucks came back and he actually thought we should CONGRATULATE him on his quick thinking.

    After that we only rolled with him 1 more time - we put him as roving patrol - since we couldn't control him, we figured he might do some good if we let him "play" a bit.

    Point being - there is ***1*** convoy commander and only one - for a damn good reason.

    His lone cowboy antics put us in danger, stopped us from doing our mission until his play time was over, and, on a personal note, pissed me off.
    Reply to this
  • 4/21/2009 4:24 PM Daisy wrote:
    I can't thank you enough for all you do for us. Thank you so much for your service. And PLEASE, y'all be safe over there and come home whole to your families. God bless.
    Reply to this
  • 4/22/2009 9:03 AM Patty wrote:
    My husband sent me the link to your blog and I have sent it around to friends and family.
    I love reading it.
    Good luck, be safe and we can't wait till you guys are home.
    Reply to this
  • 4/22/2009 9:41 AM mike wrote:
    my company got caught in an ambush in nam.nva dug in,snipers in trees,comm wire.we survive the initial opening. return fire and wait for fighter support. higher command orders our captain to charge the woodline. captain relays order and so casualties triple.son #3 engineer in sadr city last june. i read about an attack on americans at iraqi council meeting. i email him and he hadn't heard about the attack,which killed a number of our soldiers.he goes to the meeting as as he's about to enter the building a bomb goes off in the meeting room.15 dead including 4 americans.what should be communicated isn't and who gives the commands shouldn't.when you put us in there, let us figure the way to get out.appreciate your reports even when i disagree. in nam, i had macv [military command] at the head of the list of those trying to kill me.after reports from my daughter army doctor with 25th infantry 2 tours afghanistan and iraq and my son 2 tours last in sadr city, the people who want and could make a difference are leaving and the ones who should be let go or kept low grade are being promoted.please be careful out there. mike
    Reply to this
  • 4/24/2009 8:48 PM Spiff wrote:
    In the brown boot Army we would call this
    SNAFU! Not much has changed!
    Reply to this
  • 4/26/2009 11:17 AM Lauri wrote:
    This blog entry is alarming to most of us. Even the media is too chicken and not interested enough to report such crap that it is. Positive thoughts with you. Gen. and Maj. Moron? Not so much.... Interesting that someone also got to read McBeth...(hint: Shakespear Comics is a wild shortcut and gets you an "A" in English on that one."
    Reply to this
  • 4/27/2009 4:18 AM Mike wrote:
    This is what sucks about all this great technology. Some fool at a great distance decides what and when to shoot. Probably runs it past the lawyers first.
    Reply to this
  • 5/16/2009 10:44 AM NAMVETCAV6768 wrote:
    I feel your pain!! I did a year in the jungles & rice-paddies many moons ago & know all too well how disgusting, irritating & on & on those seldom, if ever seen base-camp honchos can be. Obviously, little has changed.

    You mentioned airstrikes --- In my day it was F-4 Phantoms, Cobra Gunships & B-52s. I do pray that GPS has led to vast improvements in accuracy, if you know what I mean.

    You guys are in our prayers! Don't let the assholes get you down.

    Well written blog! I'll add you to my list.
    Reply to this
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